Then the palisman won't wake up. It wants to emotionally connect with you. It won't do that if you try to lie to it.
[a pause, before she answers;]
I realize this may all seem like an elaborate set-up to make you reveal your innermost self to a not-quite-ally so that I can make fun of you. I assure you, sincerity is the only way to awaken a palisman.
I suppose if they never wake up for you, either they will stay as a piece of inanimate wood forever or wait for the 'right' person to come along and bear their heart to it. You see, palismen give you their magic, but you give them part of your spirit. This emotional connection is their literal spark of life.
So what you have to ask yourself is: who is Blitzø?
So it'll be trapped forever like this? [He hates that idea too. Even if it can't actually feel or be aware of it, it seems like a really, really shitty thing to go through.
This whole situation is starting to feel like a worse and worse idea the more he learns about it. It was supposed to be a cute wooden horse that would be his friend and he'd learn magic and now the reality was... kinda that but like the reality of friends. He didn't have any and he can think of so many ways that this can go horribly wrong.]
What if what I want isn't good enough? What if I'm not...
[Oh no she was not expecting this level of emotional turmoil. Damn you Barge for this terrible moment where she has to dig deep for empathy. Kikimora balls up her hands into angry little fists at the Admiral for laughing at her.
She hops off the bed and hits him. Which isn't very hard, because she's Kiki and the size and strength of a human toddler, but she hopes it'll shake him out of this]
Then wish for that! Idiot! If you're not strong enough, or powerful enough or whatever it is you're refusing to consider, wish for it.
Ow! Fuck! [It isn't hard even though he's got only slightly more muscle mass than a twig, but it does the job. Blitzø scrubs at his face with his sleeve because fuck you, he wasn't getting emotional at all, Kiki just needs to dust more.]
Christ on a fucking stick, fine! I'll say it! But you tell anyone about this and I'll fucking end you.
[He just glares at her because for once, this is serious and he can't just resort to hyperbole and being an ass to get by and he's nervous, his tail lashing against the floor twice before it curls around his arms in a clear self-soothing gesture.]
I want...
[Fuck this is hard, a legitimate struggle to get the words out at all as they feel like they cut to the core of everything he's kept long buried for decades.]
I just want to be loved for who I am...
[He avoids looking at Kiki because he's pretty sure he's just going to see either pity or distaste there, neither of which he wants to see.]
[Oh, well. That is a very powerful statement of emotional desire.
Kikimora barely has time to even process that before the top part of the staff erupts in a ball of glowing light. The wooden staff disappears; dropping down in its place into Blitzø's hands is a trotting, neighing mini-horse who immediately begins nuzzling his claws]
[He hadn't expected it to work and had pretty much expected that it would just end up with him looking dumb or getting told by Kiki that he needed to ask something better. Instead there's a little pink and black horse nuzzling his fingers and claws and seeming delighted to see him.]
[The horse neighs; Kikimora looks lost as to the answer, but the nuzzling against Blitzø's fingers and a weak but growing psychic connection indicate that she doesn't mind in the least]
Whatever her sort of animal eats in your world, I would imagine. Hay or grass or something.
[Oh, he touched a nerve for sure. He's tempted to poke it further, but he hasn't forgotten that Kiki just saw his own Very Personal disclosure and it occurs to Blitzø that maybe he shouldn't push her to go running to Malcolm or Eiffel with it.]
Fuck yeah I do! So long as it's not gonna hurt her or anything anyway.
[He reaches out and... pets her a little first before holding out his hand. The horse whinnies and then returns to her wooden staff form. Blitzø carefully lifts the staff and looks at Kikimora.]
So... you sure know a lot about this magic stuff. That part of the coven you mentioned?
I know about this magic stuff, as you call it, because all witches and demons have magic where I come from.
[She seems reluctant to share any part of herself, despite hearing Blitzø's own most heartfelt wish. In fact, Kiki changes the subject back to the previous topic, her tone closed off and brokering no side tangents]
We're going to practice a simple light spell first. You're going to concentrate on making a light appear at the end of the staff. And then you're going to use the staff's end to draw a small circle in the air.
And I mean small. The larger the circle, the more magic and powerful the spell. It's a muscle you'll have to exercise so doubtful you'll do anything except exhaust yourself and your palisman if it's too big.
[But for all that he complains and is generally a pain in the ass, Blitzø does pay attention to Kikimora's instructions without questioning her. She knows what she's doing better than he does, after all.
It isn't as easy as he'd hoped, and there's a few frustrating moments of stressed concentration and flickering light before he manages to have it glowing consistently enough to try a tiny circle.]
Christ on a stick, is all magic this fucking hard?
[The words "a failure" echo loud enough in his head that he almost thought she'd said them herself.]
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[He's operating more on instinct then, several dozen memories overriding everything else, and it's all he can do to keep a grip on the staff as he runs out the door.]
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2024-03-13 01:02 am (UTC)What if it's... not possible? Or you lie?
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Date: 2024-03-13 01:06 am (UTC)[a pause, before she answers;]
I realize this may all seem like an elaborate set-up to make you reveal your innermost self to a not-quite-ally so that I can make fun of you. I assure you, sincerity is the only way to awaken a palisman.
I suppose if they never wake up for you, either they will stay as a piece of inanimate wood forever or wait for the 'right' person to come along and bear their heart to it. You see, palismen give you their magic, but you give them part of your spirit. This emotional connection is their literal spark of life.
So what you have to ask yourself is: who is Blitzø?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-13 01:21 am (UTC)This whole situation is starting to feel like a worse and worse idea the more he learns about it. It was supposed to be a cute wooden horse that would be his friend and he'd learn magic and now the reality was... kinda that but like the reality of friends. He didn't have any and he can think of so many ways that this can go horribly wrong.]
What if what I want isn't good enough? What if I'm not...
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Date: 2024-03-13 01:28 am (UTC)She hops off the bed and hits him. Which isn't very hard, because she's Kiki and the size and strength of a human toddler, but she hopes it'll shake him out of this]
Then wish for that! Idiot! If you're not strong enough, or powerful enough or whatever it is you're refusing to consider, wish for it.
You emotionally constipated toenail.
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Date: 2024-03-13 01:38 am (UTC)Christ on a fucking stick, fine! I'll say it! But you tell anyone about this and I'll fucking end you.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-13 01:39 am (UTC)[but she sits down opposite Blitzø on the floor, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes to watch]
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Date: 2024-03-13 02:08 am (UTC)I want...
[Fuck this is hard, a legitimate struggle to get the words out at all as they feel like they cut to the core of everything he's kept long buried for decades.]
I just want to be loved for who I am...
[He avoids looking at Kiki because he's pretty sure he's just going to see either pity or distaste there, neither of which he wants to see.]
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Date: 2024-03-13 02:19 am (UTC)Kikimora barely has time to even process that before the top part of the staff erupts in a ball of glowing light. The wooden staff disappears; dropping down in its place into Blitzø's hands is a trotting, neighing mini-horse who immediately begins nuzzling his claws]
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Date: 2024-03-13 03:49 am (UTC)[He hadn't expected it to work and had pretty much expected that it would just end up with him looking dumb or getting told by Kiki that he needed to ask something better. Instead there's a little pink and black horse nuzzling his fingers and claws and seeming delighted to see him.]
She's beautiful.
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Date: 2024-03-22 01:16 am (UTC)She will assist you in casting all manner of spells. Even if you don't have natural magic, you may use hers.
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Date: 2024-03-23 12:34 am (UTC)[He immediately looks down at the little horse again.]
You don't mind, do you?
[More questions occur to him, and the whole magic part of this is rapidly becoming a distant secondary concern.]
What does she eat?
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Date: 2024-03-23 01:54 am (UTC)Whatever her sort of animal eats in your world, I would imagine. Hay or grass or something.
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Date: 2024-03-23 10:16 am (UTC)Sitting back, he looks back up at Kikimora.]
So where's your one?
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Date: 2024-03-23 10:58 am (UTC)Those in the Emperor's coven do not have palismen.
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Date: 2024-03-23 11:01 am (UTC)But you're not in that coven here.
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Date: 2024-03-23 11:05 am (UTC)Do you want to learn magic or not?
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Date: 2024-03-24 05:53 am (UTC)Fuck yeah I do! So long as it's not gonna hurt her or anything anyway.
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Date: 2024-03-24 02:18 pm (UTC)Of course it won't hurt her. It's what she was made for.
Hold out your hand and she'll transform herself back into her stick form.
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Date: 2024-03-25 06:07 am (UTC)[He reaches out and... pets her a little first before holding out his hand. The horse whinnies and then returns to her wooden staff form. Blitzø carefully lifts the staff and looks at Kikimora.]
So... you sure know a lot about this magic stuff. That part of the coven you mentioned?
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Date: 2024-03-27 02:05 pm (UTC)[She seems reluctant to share any part of herself, despite hearing Blitzø's own most heartfelt wish. In fact, Kiki changes the subject back to the previous topic, her tone closed off and brokering no side tangents]
We're going to practice a simple light spell first. You're going to concentrate on making a light appear at the end of the staff. And then you're going to use the staff's end to draw a small circle in the air.
And I mean small. The larger the circle, the more magic and powerful the spell. It's a muscle you'll have to exercise so doubtful you'll do anything except exhaust yourself and your palisman if it's too big.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 12:23 pm (UTC)[But for all that he complains and is generally a pain in the ass, Blitzø does pay attention to Kikimora's instructions without questioning her. She knows what she's doing better than he does, after all.
It isn't as easy as he'd hoped, and there's a few frustrating moments of stressed concentration and flickering light before he manages to have it glowing consistently enough to try a tiny circle.]
Christ on a stick, is all magic this fucking hard?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 01:02 pm (UTC)[She scowls, but commits herself to this, rolling her eye]
If it were easy, it would be luck, wouldn't it? Congratulations, you have to work hard at something to achieve it!
Idiot.
Complete the circle and light should appear in free-forming balls.
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Date: 2024-03-28 09:39 pm (UTC)[That messes up his concentration and the circle vanishes.]
I know how to work hard at shit. I didn't grow up with fucking magic to do everything for me.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 10:50 pm (UTC)What do you suppose that makes you?
no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 11:01 pm (UTC)SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[He's operating more on instinct then, several dozen memories overriding everything else, and it's all he can do to keep a grip on the staff as he runs out the door.]
(no subject)
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