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[stressingwitchface]

"Ugh. People"



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[helluvamess]

OW! Not! OW! Until you! OW! Tell me! OW! Why!!

OW!!

[stressingwitchface]

[Outraged, she screams and shoves his body back as hard as a toddler can]

[helluvamess]

[Immediately he wraps his tail around her and just hoists her into the air.]

Christ on a stick, what's your problem? It's not even, you know, ready. Look--

[And he opens the box to show her the wooden egg.]

The fuck do you hate palismen so much for?

[stressingwitchface]

[She tries to bite the tail but can't wriggle around enough to get claw or teeth into it and finally hangs limply in the air, glaring at Blitzø. And she refuses to even look at the egg, turning her face away]

I don't hate palismen, you fool. Put me down!

[helluvamess]

Riiiight. Really convincing me with how you can't even look at it.

[To prove his point, he shoves the box at her face like a Mature Adult would.]

Just take the damn thing. Give it to someone else if you hate it so much.

[stressingwitchface]

[Kikimora takes one look at the palisman egg and bursts into tears]

[helluvamess]

Oh fuck--

[ABORT. ABORT. Blitzø freezes up because of all the things he'd expected, that wasn't one of them. Kikimora is small enough that he instinctively drops the box and pulls her into a hug.]

I'm sorry!

[Great now he's crying too.]

[stressingwitchface]

[perhaps even more shockingly, she lets him hug her, sobbing loud and inconsolable tears, her head on his shoulder]

I t-told him! I told him I d-didn't want one! Nobody listens to m-me!

[oh no she's crying louder]

[helluvamess]

[Oh Satan he's crying harder too.]

I'm sooorryy!! I thought you wanted one and Malcolm said he approved of it and then the Admiral gave me it and I thought it would be cool and they could be friennnnnds!

[stressingwitchface]

[Kikimora rubs at her eye, still incredibly upset but Blitzø's crying is making her less upset at him]

It's my stupid warden's f-fault. I don't want to talk and he makes me talk or he d-does these things that make me upset instead.

[helluvamess]

[As she starts to calm down a little, Blitzø does as well, gently setting her on the ground and taking a seat there himself. He puts the lid back on the box to hide the contents.]

I'm really fucking sorry, Kiki. I figured since you tried to take Staples that you were jealous and wanted a palisman of your own. Then Malcolm was a dick about it when I tried to talk to him about shit and I figured I'd just do it myself. But Trevor had to ask him for permission otherwise the Admiral wouldn't give me one and so Malcolm said it was fucking fine.

[stressingwitchface]

[She settles down, curling up against this strange friend? ally? demon]

As I explained to Malcolm, I tried taking Staples because I was attempting to disarm you, not because I wanted her for myself.

[she cough-laughs at Malcolm being called a dick, sniffling]

[helluvamess]

[Blitzø's tail settles around them both in a loose circle on the floor.]

Kind of a dick move, since you were the one who wanted me to have her in the first place. [He doesn't sound upset by it, just pointing it out.]

...do you really not want one, or are you worried about something else? Hunter told me about the Emperor Shithead where you're from.

[stressingwitchface]

You are not a target. And I have my magic. I have no need for a palisman.

[at the mention of the Emperor, she shrinks a little]

I mean. Obviously, yes. He can appear here at any point and I dread the day he does.

Hunter explained what Belos did to palismen?

[helluvamess]

Yeah, he said he ate them. Sounded fucked up.

But what if he doesn't appear here? I mean, it doesn't seem like there's many people from the same world, right? What would make him more likely to turn up instead of anyone else from your home?

[But he can understand the worry. He doesn't really have any people he's scared might show up from his Hell, but he's a bit more pragmatic on how to deal with them if they do.]

And if he does, I'll just shoot him in the fucking head for you. As many times as it takes.

[stressingwitchface]

It's more likely than you think, Imp. Often the Admiral will select someone connected or important to someone else on this ship, especially if that person is an inmate like you or me. I believe it's further incentive for us to graduate and 'go home', so to speak.

But it doesn't matter. Because this viper's den is full of humans, and if even one unscrupulous character realizes that all they have to do to gain powers and immortality is break the neck of Staples here, she's done for.

[helluvamess]

Hey! You don't know that's gonna happen! You really think someone like Malcolm would let that happen too? Or that the Admiral would let it? Fucker barely lets us take a shit without oversight, no way he's gonna let someone get powers or fucking immortality that easy.

[stressingwitchface]

The Admiral WILL let it happen, and Malcolm won't listen when I said I didn't want one either! I already have Princess, I specifically hatched her because she wasn't a palisman, and still she was murdered by Belos' forces! As punishment for my misbehavior!

Why would I want to risk heartbreak?

[helluvamess]

Well if you don't wanna risk liking people why even be here? I mean Christ on a stick, why not just give up and go be dead then? It's about the only way that you'll never get hurt ever.

[He feels like Trevor or Malcolm would be very smug to hear him say something like that, or would point out hypocritical he's being but fortunately neither of them are here to hear it.]

What if Belos shows up and kills Malcolm then? Better not get too attached to him! Or anyone else either! May as well just keep shoving everyone away and making them hate you so... so they can't hurt you first. Fuck.

[He sniffles and rubs at his eyes.]

Then you'll die alone but at least you'll be alone and no one can hurt you, right?

[stressingwitchface]

[at the very thought of Belos getting anywhere near Malcolm, Kikimora snarls, furious. Her magic makes some of the lightbulbs overhead sputter and pop]

Shut up! Shut UP, you little troll! I'd murder him if he touched Warden Bright!

[helluvamess]

[He raises an eyebrow at the outburst and makes a mental note to get someone to replace the fucking lightbulbs here. Thanks Kiki.]

What, I thought you didn't want to get attached?

[stressingwitchface]

I DON'T.

But I'm already attached. The Admiral gave me him after my old warden abandoned me, left, and came back without a word to me. He defended me, protected me when I go through my...episodes.

I will fight anyone to the death for Malcolm Bright.

[helluvamess]

Fucking why though? If you don't want to get attached so he can't be used against you, why not just fucking push him away when it started? Sure Admiral fuckface paired you both up, but that didn't make you get along. Why didn't you just ignore him and push him away and say you didn't want to get close?

Like you are right now?

[stressingwitchface]

[she lets out a high-pitched, deranged giggle]

I owe him so much.

What do I owe this creature? It should be born with a clean slate, not saddled with a...a cracked egg.

[the way she says it tells volumes; it was probably a nickname she internalized as a child]

[helluvamess]

[Oh. Oh fuck... yeah that hits really close to home and maybe if he didn't kinda sorta grudgingly like Kiki, he'd just gloss over it and leave because managing emotions is not even close to being his best skill. But. He can't just leave now.

What she says reminds him of Fizz too, in a way.]

You're not cracked, Kiki.

[Blitzø's voice is quieter, almost tired, and completely devoid if his usual cocky attitude.]

You're not perfect, but neither is anyone else. You don't have to owe people just because they don't treat you like shit, or put up with crap because you feel like you deserve it, and you're not broken either.

And if you think that palismen should only go to people who aren't fucked up in some way, then maybe I should give you Staples after all.